Esta Es Mi Vida

This post is about my disdain for a disturbing and growing trend that will see a resurgence now that the weather is warm….Mandals. If you wear them and get easily offended by the raw and pungent truth then you probably should wait for my next post and skip this one.

First off, WTF. When did we start calling Men’s Sandals Mandals? Who came up with this? And why is it then when I went into DSW last weekend and told the cute sales rep that I was looking for some sandals she tells me “Oh the mandals are over in this section”……excuse me, WHAT? Did I not get the man memo about this new term or something?

Oh and don’t think I haven’t taken notice of my Caucasian (and every other race for that fact) brothern wearing these during the cold months…..Where in what book of man laws ™ or rule of thumb was it ok for us to start wearing these on the regular like it’s apart of everyday life (365 days a year with anything we want)? It’s gotten so bad THAT NOW THERE’S A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION ASSOCIATED WITH WEARING THEM!

Are you Egyptian, do you live in a climate that has more (appropriate) warm days then cold? Perhaps you’re a Spartan or of Roman decent…..No? Okay then it’s not kosher for you to wear these year round guys….it’s not kosher.

I use to rock the “mandals” hard back in the day when they were just called “mens sandals”, by “hard” I mean in the appropriate place and at the fashionably appropriate time.

For example

• WHEN MY FEET DON’T LOOK AS THOUGH I’VE BEEN WALKING ON RAZOR SHARP ROCKS OUT IN THE BUSH SOMEWHERE!
• At the beach
• While washing the car
• When rocking the fresh linen pants & or linen shirt
• Spring time @ a wine festival
• A quick trip down to the mailbox/grocery store/carry out/car (when to lazy to lace up some kicks)
• Summer BBQ’s & or cookouts
• A scorching summer day when shoes/socks just aren’t going to do

But now you can see guys rocking this look year ’round, proudly wearing them with jeans, at the club, nice restaurants, in the winter time, or with mens capris. I’m not saying that wearing man sandals during this time of year is bad, this is the time of year when you should wear them, and when it’s appropriate. Where my problem is are with the people that rock them hard all year, and those people that don’t follow the rules when wearing them around this time of year.

Here are three key rules that the dominate gender should ad hear to.

1. Socks with Sandals - No man should be caught wearing socks with sandals. But again, especially in the black community this has become acceptable. If you wearing sandals leave the socks at home please.

2. Flip-Flops - Honestly there really isn’t a necessity for a man to wear these type of sandals when there’s such a vast collection to choose from now days….But for those that do follow this rule: If not at the beach, then there is no reason for any man to be wearing flip-flops. Ever.

3. Pedicure - If you don’t know what that is or perhaps think this is for women please stop reading, go get your mandals and throw them in the trash. It’s a requirement, not an option. Look at it like this; would you go outside with your hands ashy and crusty? with your fingernails long and yellow??? NO! So don’t let your feet be in that condition. GET A PEDICURE!

/rant