To answer your question – yes there are people that get married for the right reasons. I just believe those people are few and far between. I think people have watched too many fairy tales and happily-ever-after movies. When real-life turns out to be…real, people can’t handle it. Then they get divorced.

Unfortunately in 2008 mutual trust, honesty and loyalty seem to be in short supply. That’s a problem and will kill a relationship rather quickly. I’m including the perception of those as well. Perception is just as bad as the reality sometimes.

All of those things that you mentioned IMO are pre qualifications. Society says that if you are relatively economically stable, have a desire to join together in a special kind of social and legal arrangement that serves several purposes primarily formed to produce children (although that doesn’t hold true really anymore) then you should be married. In that lies the problem.

With out trust what do you have? Nothing….there will be no foundation on which to build a LOVING, and COMMITTED relationship. Honesty goes hand and hand with trust, because the measurement of honesty is your trust in that person. If i share with you a tidbit of personal information about me that I don’t want the rest of the world outside of…or say the +cru knowing, i’m doing that on the evaluation of your honesty and i’m extending trust and confiding in you (all).

Nowdays the back bone of most marriages to couples are mutual emotional and/or physical attraction that is satisfying enough to both that they decide to contract a lifelong relationship. Although this [b]Contract[/b] part seems to have gotten lost along the way somehow. Marriage should be a partnership built on the principles that we have/are discussing. Those “pre qualifications” I believed you mentioned coupled with the short list i made. Too often these aren’t the focus, or don’t exist on a fundamental level……again this is a big part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high.

To me, a house, a car, and money aren’t things that qualifies a person to get married. Those are superficial things that can easily be eroded as time goes on … and it’s usually those things that erode a marriage.

I agree on the laid out “marriage is” statements but also there’s some other things that’s missing. First is TRUST, if a relationship doesn’t have this trait it IS bound to fail. Second is HONESTY, and what I mean by that is that you should be able to look at your significant other in the eyes and MEAN what you say not just say it to avoid confrontation or so you can move on. Third … LOVE, without it, everything is pointless.

People should marry a person because they KNOW it’s right, NOT because they feel it’s right.

@Bae: You “not inviting me” doesn’t mean that I wont come or already be there, so keep that in mind.

People get married because they think they’re in love or they’re getting older or for financial benefit

What exactly are you trying to say here? That true love, and the desire to want to have the closest bond that you can with a person who’s bloodline isn’t connected to yours doesn’t exist anymore?

I agree with your point about the selfishness, but it shouldn’t start at marriage it should start and the grass roots, the bf/gf relationship. If you can’t learn to put your lover first then you’ll have a damn near impossible time of putting your spouse first.

Agreed on the issue of commitment and loving someone not because of what they are (tall, six pack, nice skin, bionic eye sight, etc) but who they are (sensitive, caring, compassionate, outgoing, etc). A bit pessimistic about my people aren’t we?

Back when I was 22, I had two close friends marry at 22. I thought to myself, I couldn’t do that, my gosh, at 22, I feel like your life is just starting. I mean you just graduated college and are beginning your career and adult life. Both of these friends started to date their now husbands when they were in high school. I personally think they married too young. If I were in their shoes, I would have waited a couple more years until I got married.

It’s scary to see that many couples nowadays are only married for a couple of years and then divorcing. I don’t see marriage as a “spur of the moment” thing but rather as a long-lasting commitment with your significant other. As I said before, I’m 24 and I tell myself what’s the hurry, so what if my friends around me are getting married now, I’m truly happy for them, but I know that my time might not be right at this moment, but it will come eventually and when it does it will be the right time for me.

You love someone’s smile…what if they lose their teeth
You love someone’s legs…what if they have to be amputated
Someone has a pretty face…people get old and wrinkled
Someone has great hair…chemo will take that right out.

If you fall in love it needs to be for permanent characteristics and not something that will erode with time.