When I was a child I acted as a child….Now that i’m a man i’ve put away childish things
This is one of my favorite verses out of one of my favorite books that i’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
Much like most of the members of my gender once we hit the ripe old age of 18 think we are men, or perhaps when we get out “feet” wet (this usually happens before our 18th birthday nowdays) for the first time we feel as though we now have some entitlement. Yeah, ummm no. I don’t believe that your transition from boy-man is so much based on what you’ve accomplished in life (i.e. graduating from college, moving out of the rents house, getting your first car) but rather it’s more suited in the responsibility you assume and the ownership you take over things relative to your life.
Examples
Relationships:
a boy - Will sleep with as many girls as time and nature will allow, not to get confused with him being a man-whore. No, not like that. But if he can have sex with one person, or more then one person on the regular then he will indeed do that and find little error in it. That is his “relationship focus”, or it factors highly into that. He will never turn it down, pump the brakes and get to know whats going on above the neck line unless it all but secures his probability to get below the waistline
a man - Will honor women for being more then just a source for his pleasure and quell to his burning hormonal “needs”. His focus isn’t on getting in a a woman’s pants as it is getting in her head, learning who she is, what she’s about, is she a potential mate candidate, is she worth putting in work/an application for.
Work:
a boy - Will gain employment for the purpose of putting in 8hrs, getting a paycheck and breaking out at 1700 hrs everyday. Professional gain is a foreign concept/phrase to him and unless it involves adding a few extra pennies to his salary, he’s not interested. He wants a better job, but isn’t putting in the effort to educate himself on a) how he can do this b) what opportunities are available to self improvement. Tack on the fact that he’s not qualified for his position, knows it, and doesn’t really care because again…as long as he’s pullin a paycheck that’s what matters.
a man - He doesn’t have a job, doesn’t know even what this word is other then it being a reference to what the 19yrold behind the register at BestBuy who is harassing him about a service plan for his new blu ray player does. He has a career, he’s pursuing a lifelong ambition or calling. He has an occupation or profession, something that he’s trained to do, something that takes a combination of skill, experience and education. He’s not caught up in titles, but qualifications and his ability to not only articulate his capabilities, to be able to execute those qualifications and put them into a business process is his perpetual goal.
He knows where he is going, what he wants to achieve, and where he can see himself in 20yrs, and most importantly he makes his own decisions so far as the direction of his career.
Capitol (Money)
a boy - Spends money like there is no tomorrow with literally, no thought for the future, no thought for anything other then what’s “now”. What pop culture says he needs at this moment or whatever the new hotness is out on the market is what his focus is on. Screw the future, you only get to live once, you only get one life so live it UP! Savings, investments, retirement are all foreign concepts to him, or things he’ll work about later when he gets a better job, or when he gets his record deal, contract with the Lakers, wins the lotto, or gets his stimulus check.
Discounts, coupons, sales, and clearances are all words that his wack parents used. And again, aren’t something that he’s interested in. That ribbed t-shirt from A/X for $35.99 will do just fine, and will go well with the $200 jeans from D&G he just copped.
a man - Lives off of the principle of getting what he needs, not what he wants. He isn’t living paycheck to paycheck, he’s got six months of salary saved up just in case he decides to take a break from that career and go visit/live in an Eastern European country for a few months. He owns, or is on the path to ownership of his possession/assets. Debt is his nemesis, credit is his best friend. Words such as Marshalls, Ross, Value City, Macy’s (1 day sale), Sears, sales, coupons, deals, discounts are some of his favorites.
I could go on and on but I think you get the point that i’m trying to make here. This difference also applies to women, but i thought i’d specify it for my gender seeing how I can relate and deliver better for what separates a man from a boy then what i can for what separates a girl from a woman. If you aren’t doing all the of things i listed in the man category, fret not, we aren’t perfect and as long as you are progressing to get from boy –> man then that’s what matters.
I’d like to hear my audience’s thought on this list as well, what do you all think? Accurate? Inaccurate?
July 4th, 2008 at 5:10 am
Wow! I love this blog. So true, especially in the money category. It’s not just for boy>man but for girl>woman. I know, speaking from personal experience that I have yet to work on making this transition. Sometimes I catch myself spending money on things that are not necessary, but I also think that due to the recent events in my life….I’m forcing myself to think and act like a woman. I know some people (person) who has yet to make that change! ; )
July 5th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
I think your list was quite accurate. The same list could apply for girls/women.
July 8th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
@Idalisa: Thanks for the support, I myself still have work to do in the transition from boy —> man with some areas in my life so I can completely understand where you are coming from.
I think life is about experiences that are specifically geared to moving us to that next level in life, more often then not we as people tend to either ignore them, or choose to divert down the path that we are being led to because it’s [insert excuse here] and it ultimately gears to do the person not wanting to grow up, and step out of their comfort zone.
@Shelia: Thanks for co-signing to that, i’ve gotten much feedback to support your comment. I’d love to hear what some of those things are that you women have to transition from/deal with.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
You know I am feeling you on this post, right? I was going to do a simular post focused on my little brother. He’s ass has everything going for him, degreed, smart, charming, and his grown ass does not have a job. He is about to turn thirty and I need his grown ass to grow the hell up. I don’t want him to be yet another brother leaching off society.
I love my little brother to death, but for some reason the men in my family just seem to lack gumption. I don’t know where that crap comes from. Must me something in our genes that skipped me. Thank God.
July 11th, 2008 at 12:39 am
I agree with the ladies that posted that this also applies to women. The only thing I would say to make it fall in line with us would be in the relationship category. I agree that a boy will sleep with as women as time and opportunity will allow but a GIRL will fall for his tactics. A girl will fall in what she believes is love the moment he tells her that she is beautiful. A girl will not question why they’ve been “together” for X amount of time and she has yet to meet his family or why they can only see each other after 10pm on Wednesdays–or why he only calls during work/rush hour and and after hours his phone is turned off or he does not answer her calls. A girl will be the other woman. She knows she is the other “woman” whether she can confirm it or not. A woman can spot a boy a mile away and avoids him like the plague. She is too busy living her life, making her money, establishing her career, taking care of her kids to be bothered. A woman will accept nothing less than a man.
All other Boy vs. Man topics also apply to Girl vs. Women…