Question of the week:What Would you Do/Say?
As I dive deeper into the blogging thing I want to begin intelligent discussion about various “Questions of the Week” that I have for my small but growing base of readers.
This week it’s in a form of one of my favorite songs by the Neo Soul/R&B artist Musiq. Give a listen and leave a comment about what you’d do if it were you in the situation. I personally haven’t been in that situation but if I was i’m not sure how i’d respond if I was put in this exact situation that he was given the fact that it was just the one time…..
The core part of the song is as follows for those that might be too lazy to actually listen to the entire song
I don’t mean to scare you but I
See im not really ready for a child
In my life right now
And lets keep it real girl
You don’t really know and I
I’ve only known you for a little while
So I guess we got a lot of things to figure out
I’m having mixed feelings bout it cause
The idea of it sounds kinda nice but
We both gotta be clear about what it was
Cause we cant say that it happened out of love
Now I know you really want to keep it baby
So I support you and im always gonna be there babe
For our baby to make sure that he or
She doesn’t grow up and make the same mistake
So what would you do?
Guys: if a girl came to you saying what she says in the opening conversation
Ladies: if this was you, and the part of the lyrics were said to you by the guy you were involved with. Plus how would you tell him?
-B.Price
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Dang, never been in this situation before… if I was I would be crazy out of my mind scared and would prolly stutter and be like I am pregnant. I definitely would not take the denial well, defintely call family and tell them I am pregnant cause I know my mom told if I ever got pregnant by mistake she would be thur for me take the baby home and make me stay and finish skool. If the dude does not want want to be in the baby’s life well, i would just take it as it is. I don’t even know wat i would do without family support seriously.
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
On the real I don’t even want to think about something like this happening to me. I for one don’t just have casual sex so I wouldn’t be getting pregnant by anyone. If it was my man then we would have already had the “what if” talk. I don’t know I am not ready for kids so I don’t even want to think about this. lol
Good questions though.
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Let’s see, this would be a difficult situation for me. I would like to think my parents would be there for me, but to be honest I’m not sure if they would be. Even if they weren’t there for me, I would still tell them and hope later on (after the shock wears off) that they would give me some type of family support. As far as telling the guy, I would just tell him and not go behind his back with secrets. We would definitely have to talk and see what’s best for us. If he decided that he wanted nothing to do with the baby, I would be upset of course, but I would realize that he’s scared, but its still doesn’t solve the problem. If this were to happen now, it would be really difficult. It’s something that I’m definitely not ready for in my life right now.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
What about the source’s comment on the subject?
April 4th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
@D: My comment would be that at first i’d probably be pretty upset with myself that even though I would’ve taken measures to prevent it from happening that it happened. I would feel like I “failed” you know? Like “Oh God, i’ve really f*cked up.” I’d have to step back just to get myself to neutral, and try to work things out with her.
And you? What would you do?
@La Chica: If you are young especially family support is going to be key, and it’s always a difficult explaining to one’s parents something like that and especially under those circumstances. Although most parents if not receptive to you/your situation at that time usually come around after the baby is born.
@Brittney: I now what you mean, that’s not really me either. I’m not going to have sex with someone i’m not in a committed/long term relationship with or have “….only know for a little while”. So if it came up it would be completely out of character and hard for me to deal with.
@Hadassah: Word on the guy being there. That’s a key element, like the person who you just laid down with and created a life with…is he going ot be there? That’s a tough question, and you wont really know until you are in that moment. That’s good with your mom being there for you, really good. I think mine would be as well, but that’s only after they’d make a few attemps on my life.
April 7th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Wow, This is a good topic, I personally have a girlfriend who wants to get pregnant almost at any cost, the man involved has 2 kids 2 baby mommas already and has told her LOOK I like you and all you seem like the wife type but im not ready to have another baby (even after marriage right away) . Now my girl has been warned by him. Yet she would let him participate in unprotected sex thus making her pregnant. If i was him and she got pregnant I would run from her ass lol. Men do dump shit like have unprotected sex all the time but the woman has the ultimate choice of not getting pregnant there are pills,shots, patches whatever u need to keep it tight lol so if a woman gets pregnant now days I am almost certain she did it on purpose.
To answer the question tho I would pray I’m not laying down with just any ole man, He would be a stand up guy and even if we dont plan to stay together the least he would do is be responsible for the baby, most females hardly know last names and if he got a job lol thats askin for trouble.
April 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Fortunately I haven’t been in this situation either. This type of conversation should have come up prior to engaging in sex. It’s very important not to sleep with someone unless you plan on having a baby with them.
April 8th, 2008 at 10:57 am
@35%
Like me be candid and honest…your friend is CRAZY! Why would she WANT TO GET PREGNANT? Especially by a dude who doesn’t want any(more) kids? I mean seriously I would begin to question her level of sanity at that point. Why on earth would to want to create a life just “because you want one”? Those are the type of people that need to go out and ADOPT a child that someone else didn’t want. Not impose on this man that doesn’t want one. But don’t get me wrong, he ain’t without fault either having unprotected sex with a woman that wants a baby…yeah something’s not right with the both of them if you don’t mind me saying.
@Shelia
I can’t agree with you more (i’d say that you shouldn’t sleep with someone that you wouldn’t plan on having a baby with though…see what I mean?), although mainstream society wouldn’t. And that I believe is the quintessential problem facing this ‘Y’ generation….damn middle schoolers are having sex.
April 8th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
lol B. Yea tell me something we don’t already know.